SILs.

When your sister in law luh you so much she gives you flowers.

I am a person who didn’t necessarily get on with people, especially females, off the bat.  The smiles and hellos and how are yous were me being cordial and not me wanting to be life long friends or even acquaintances for that matter.  I could be very guarded and stone faced if I don’t know you or am not comfortable upon the first greeting.  I have gotten much better throughout the years and have been more open and definitely more kind.  You know, trying to lead by example so my kids don’t go around muggin’ everybody.

I went to an all girls high school where many alpha females were in attendance and honesty, loyalty, and respect were lacking.  We didn’t like each other for the most meaningless reasons, then got along well after a retreat or something, right back to hating each other all over just because of much hearsay.  Hella hearsay.  Oh, high school! But we were kids.  We didn’t know better.  At the time, people giving us advice were our peers who were going through the same things and you just learn to Trust.  No.  One.

Fast forward to adulthood and marriage.  When you marry a person with siblings you gain sister in laws.  Women you must learn to love and/or at least to understand and respect.  Thank God, I got good ones.  We try to spend as much time together as we can.    We laugh.  We gab.  We cling together at family parties.  Most importantly, we are there for one another.  I grew up with a brother so having sisters in laws that I actually like is treat for me! Ha!

Of course, as in every tight group, there are misunderstandings, miscommunication, and disagreements but we are sisters by marriage but very much friends by choice.  We are all alpha females in our own right and still get along quite well.  We enjoy each other’s company.  We respect each other, support each other and we sincerely love each other. They came with the marriage and our friendship is also very much til’ death do us part.

 “She stands firmly on her own two feet and I just behind her; should she ever need me.”


The Light. :#tbt

This is a blog post I wrote in September 2012.  It’s interesting to go back and read entries from the past.  It’s difficult to remember those tough emotions but it makes me appreciate how much better I am today.  How much more control I have over my happiness rather than being so out of control in my darkness.  I was going through a lot at the time, finding my way out of postpartum depression (for the first time) and trying to sort out the world around me.  It was a rough time for me.  But even in that time, I still managed to see light at the end of that dark tunnel I was stranded in with the help of two of my very, very close friends.

• • •

The Light.


Time ticks away.  Life moves on.  When you get a chance to just sit and let all that be and you get to reflect on everything, do just that.  Reflect.

Since I became a mother who was able to stay at home and watch my son grow, I was (am) able to reflect a lot on my friendships.  Once my life changed into scattered milk bottles and first words, my friends continued on with their single and dirty diaper-less lives.  I don’t regret one bit that I have gained a certain responsibility, but I do regret how some of my friendships turned out.

When people have different priorities their outlooks on things are obviously just as different.  How did all of a sudden I felt that they absolutely couldn’t be there for me anymore?  But also, how did all of a sudden they felt they couldn’t talk to me like they used to?
Well, let’s take a look.  After I had my son, I unfortunately got that dreaded dark cloud over my head that, as I’ve learned, comes naturally after child birth.  I wouldn’t say it was a black shade but more on the gray scale.  But during that tough time, I took a break from EVERYONE.  I had to grasp what was going on within me on my own.  At that point, I knew my friends wouldn’t understand. Luckily, after I finally opened up to them, I was starting to feel a little more normal.  After I reconnected with them, some relationships got tighter and others just continued to loosen.

It cuts very deep to know that the person you always called first for anything will barely answer the phone.  I guess she’s just too damn busy.  Too busy to say hello.  Too busy to grab a bite or a cup of joe.  Just too busy for….Me. But because of the ever growing world of technology and social networking, I know for a fact this person is not too busy for the people she sees everyday, or the friend who lives thousands of miles away, or anyone else but me (it seems). While all this is happening, I have accepted it and told myself that it’s ok.  If my life isn’t as interesting as it once was to this person, I have found that it is still interesting to others.  I was able to nurture the friendships that didn’t change and because of the roller coaster of emotions I have felt for the past couple of years, I am forever grateful for them.  They never gave up on me.  They had faith that the fog would lift.  That I would see brighter days and they made sure that it was with them that I would share the sunshine.

To A: Thank you for just listening.  I appreciate you more than you can ever imagine. Thank you for trusting me with your feelings on love and appreciating the advice and knowledge I can share with you on the subject.  You have been and will ALWAYS be someone I can rely on.

To D: You are my sanity and my strength.  You definitely play a huge part in helping me rebuild myself when I have completely fallen apart.  For being miles away from each other, you are always there when I need you.  You’re there when I want to cry, to yell, and to just laugh. I love you with all my heart and soul.

A&D: Thank you for bringing me light.

First Grade, you were good.

As the 2016-2017 school year is wrapping up, I try and remind Kole to cherish every moment as the last week is rounding out.  He loves school.  He loves his teacher.  He loves his friends.  Kole was lucky enough to have the same teacher for Kindergarten and First Grade so it’ll be just as sad for me to say goodbye to First Grade as it will be for Kole.  If you know me, you know I love putting little gift sets together because I love giving gifts.  Kole has definitely got that trait from me because we both always talk about what the next thing we can get or make for his classmates and teacher.  After spending a couple of hours with his classmates on the class field trip I saw how extremely excited they got over popcorn.  Yes, popcorn!  I’ve seen excitement for cookies, candy, and ice cream but it seemed their love for popcorn ran deep! So I put a bag of popcorn and a bottle of bubbles in a cellophane bag so they can take a sit out in the sunshine, blow some bubbles, and snack on some good ol’ kettle corn.  Happy summer, kids!

Hope your summer is poppin’.  Your friend, Kole.”

We can’t forget a little something for the captain of the class.  The person who was able to hold it down for 20 of our little ones from the days of crisp fall air all the way until the summer sun heats up.

Processed with VSCO with hb1 presetProcessed with VSCO with hb1 presetHis teacher is one of the reasons he loves school and is always excited to learn.  I wanted to make sure she knew that we appreciated everything she’s done with and for Kole for the past two years.  You’ll always be Kole’s very first favorite teacher.

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“Have a sweet  & soothing summer.  Love, Kole”IMG_2664

Thank you First Grade.  You were the best.  Second Grade, we’re ready for you.

Have a great summer and remember to watch more sunsets than Netflix.  

 

Kettle Corn | Bubbles | Cellophane Bags | Photo Box |Anti Bacterial Soap |Tree Hut Travel Set | Face Mask | Bath Salts

 

My Favorite Moments – May

The month of May was a bit of a rocky one for me, emotionally and mentally, but that didn’t stop me from cherishing those special moments with my tribe.  Here are my May favorite moments.

Kole’s First Grade Field Trip | This month Kole’s class had a field trip to the Oakland Zoo.  Ryan and I were able to chaperone which was pretty cool Kole was able to have both his parents there.  Thank God he’s still at that age where he’s still hella down with that idea!  Ryan and I were assigned 4 kids in total which was perfect because the other 3 kids happened to be Kole’s most favorite friends.  We were so grateful to be able to see the interactions of these four friends.  Not a care in the world except to have the best day ever at the zoo with their best buds.  With all the craziness happening in the world today it was refreshing to witness these kids anxiously wanting to share their snacks with each other, excitedly wanting to sit next to each other, and caring for each other enough to make sure no one was feeling left out.  I hope as they grow older and the vibrancy of the world starts to fade they’ll look back at a sweet memory at that one time in First Grade at the Oakland Zoo where they had a hell of a time with their classmates, where the kids that were their bestest buddies at the time were dope AF because they shared their Oreos, and where they got to hang with the coolest chaperones in town. 😉

Monroe | It’s amazing what a difference a month makes.  He is picking things up so quickly!  It also helps he has a big brother to look up to, aka completely mimic.  When it’s prayer time before bed, he’s all about the sign of the cross and his “amen hands”.  He is also becoming much sweeter.  As I’ve said before, he is completely the opposite of Kole.  He is a major handful and it just seemed he was born in the “terrible twos”.  *I see you future CEO, I see you.*  The other day I was a bit down and he obviously picked up on it.  He was throwing me kisses left and right and the hugs just kept coming.  I knew there was more sweet in this sour patch kid than he let on!

Nikko | Nikko is one of my closest and very best girlfriends.  We like to think we are more like sisters than friends.  She sent me a card in the mail this month and it absolutely made my day.  First, sending personal snail mail is a lost art and that in itself lifted my spirits.  Her words of appreciation for our friendship meant the freaking world to me.  She also commended me on how I am as a mother.  When you struggle with yourself trying to figure out if you’re doing the right things for and by your children you can get stuck under a dark cloud that you’ve created for yourself and feel like you’re drowning.  Her words gave me some sunshine and a breath of fresh air.  We don’t see each other very often but we always know when we need each other and how to be there for each other.  Mia sorella per sempre.

What and who saved you from yourself last month?  Keep them close and cherish them always.  I’m almost positive you’ll need them again.