Tag: mom life

My Favorite Moments – June ’18

My last Favorite Moments post was all the way back in September 2017.  The holidays crept up on us, as usual, and I was getting a little more involved in Kole’s school and class that the blogging took a little backseat.  It’s now summer time for the kids so I’ll try to take advantage of any free time to get back to typing away.

Kole | Kole finished off second grade this month and I am extremely proud of his school year.  His teachers and his classmates had nothing but good things to say about him.  He learned so much academically this year.  I loved his explanation of common core and friendly tens he learned in math, I loved the little bits of knowledge he’d tell me about ants and spiders (ew!!), and I loved all the little projects he brought home that took planning, testing, and follow through.  He’s always been into books and getting lost in the stories he’d read but this year he really fell in love with writing.  He took every advantage of the times he had in school to write and illustrate stories/books with his classmates during Writers Workshop and he also took time at home to create little books.  His imagination and creativity is boundless.

School was so great for him this year that he has shed some tears because school is over.  Not only because he’d miss his friends and recess but also because he genuinely enjoyed every part of the school day as well.  He even went as far as to say “Two months of summer is soooo looonnnggg!”  What kid says that? LOL.  Even though I have never felt that way in my whole life, I am really happy that he feels this way.  This feeling may not last forever but I will do my best to keep him just as interested in school as I can.  And I also am hella grateful for the educators that keep that school spirit alive!

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”

Monroe | My little baby boy turned three this month!!  He. Is. A. Terror.  But the most lovable kind.  He most definitely is a sour patch kid.  Sweet one minute and sour the next.  But lately, his sweet has leveled up!  He is giving me more hugs and kisses and I get a lot more random “Mimi, I love you”s.  And if you know us well, you know his sacrifice of the green M&Ms for me is quite the gesture coming from that little M&M monster.  Conversations with him are getting easier and we are understanding each other more.  As much as I love all the growing, it is making me a little sad.  It’s already hard enough for me to accept that Kole isn’t teeny tiny anymore and now my littlest baby is growing up at the same super speed as his brother.   Time goes impossibly fast when you measure it by your growing minis.

Young, Wild, and THREE!img_8482-e1530204561486.jpg

What started off your sweet summertime?

 

Snoopy Sweater: Uniqlo | 3rd Birthday Shirt:  Willow Bee Apparel 

Daily Conversations With My Kid.

With all the scary situations that have gone on in the world since Kole was born, it has brought my stress level to its highest. I have never been brought back to the calm side of the spectrum ever since I became a mother. I have considered homeschooling him and keeping him away from all people. I have considered watching his every step to make sure he never comes in close contact with a bully. But life doesn’t work that way. I can only trust in the way I raise him and have faith on how he follows through.

Ever since he started school, three years ago, I have said the same things to him during drop off and pick up. When I drop him off I always say “Be good, be kind, and learn a lot.” Every day.

I remind him to be good. Teachers work hard everyday with 20-30 of our rowdy children. As parents, reasons we often complain about our children is how they don’t listen and don’t follow through, just to name a few. And we only have to deal with 1-5 kids on average. We know the struggle and to put all these kids with all different personalities together can be stressful and tough for an underpaid teacher with whom we have entrusted with our most precious treasures for 6-8 hours a day.

I remind him to be kind. Children are sensitive and remember everything. We all know mistreatment from their peers can stick with them for a lifetime and cause uneccessary violent action. As adults in this world today we are surprised by kindness. Videos about kindness go viral like it’s a foreign action. That says a lot about the world today and it’s not a good thing. I want him to grow up knowing kindness should be normal, given and received. To everyone. From everyone.

And lastly, I remind him to learn a lot. I want him to be open to learning everything and anything. I want him to be engaged so he is always interested on learning both sides of a coin. Ask questions. Be open to the answers even if he doesn’t like them. Not only listen but to understand.

And on to our conversations when I pick him up.

I always ask..

“How was your day?”

“What did you learn today?”

“What did you do and who did you play with during recess?”

“What was your favorite thing about the day?”

“What was your least favorite?”

I know that seems like a lot but it gives me all the information I need and I get him used to knowing that, as a parent, asking him a bunch of questions are not for interrogation. It’s for conversation. To always remind him I want to know about and keep up with his life, not because I don’t trust him but because I’m truly interested. Wanting to know how his day went and what he learned are a given. But it’s important for me to know what happens during recess when the kids are left to socialize with each other on a more independent level. I want to know if the list of people he plays with change, if the list has downsized, or if it has increased. What kind of games they play and if who is in charge of these games are the same person/people or if that role changes from time to time. Hearing about his least favorite parts of the day help me figure out what makes him sad, uncomfortable, or upset so I am able to catch anything he may not express to me directly. Knowing his favorite parts help me remember the things that bring him joy.

If I can’t protect him from all the bad in the world I can only hope I am helping raise good to at least be able to spread a little bit of light in all this darkness. Let’s face it, our world is shit. I want his tomorrows to be brighter than our todays. We just have to make sure we show the love and keep the conversation up and running.

Mind Your Own.

My kids are not perfect. There are times they don’t listen. There are times they fight. There are times they throw tantrums.

It. Is. Normal.

The other day, my kids and I were at a store and Monroe, who is 2 years old, had a tantrum. The woman behind me felt the need to make all sorts of comments and show all sorts of disgust on the fact that Monroe was upset, irritated, and crying. I don’t much care about what others think but it still isn’t easy to hear other people make you feel you are a complete failure as a parent and absolutely more upsetting to see your oldest child hear someone say something unkind about his little brother.

But make no mistake, if you feel free to make your side comments behind my back, do not be surprised to hear my harsh comments to your face. I am a mother protecting her cubs. I bite.

If you have a toddler, you know it’s that time in their lives they just don’t understand why they can’t have everything they want in the world. That’s where us parents step in. We try our best to teach them right and wrong, good and bad, and patience. We all know trying to teach a child that takes time and a whole lot of patience on our part as well. It’s frustrating as hell but that’s our job, to make sure we do our very best to raise them to be good people.

When we say no to our kids, do you think we enjoy watching them cry and get upset? Absolutely not! I choose to say no to them for certain things they don’t need. I choose to have my heart break everytime they cry or get upset because I took something away from them they didn’t deserve. So they will understand they will get it back when they have earned it from hardwork, kindness, etc. and not because they yelled for it. I choose this way so they don’t become grown men who throw tantrums and so they understand the word NO when they hear it.

Look, I’m doing my best here. So if you aren’t here to help, then keep on walking. I don’t need anybody making me feel less than. Parents do that to themselves enough.

Moral of the story, if you see a toddler out there throwing a tantrum, you can either help the poor parents or just STFU.

Happy New Days.

I have never been very much into a New Years celebration. Going to Times Square or any NYE Party was never on my bucket list and never will be. I prefer a much laid back count down. One with just close friends and/or family. And a bathroom I can easily get to and a blanket I can easily bundle up in.

The countdown starts and the hugs, kisses, and well wishes for the new year begin. After all that is done and the sounds of fireworks that give me a damn near heart attack have calmed down, I always say to myself and then to my husband “Wow. I can’t believe it’s (enter year here)” without fail. It is at that point when I reflect on yesteryear and feel the necessary emotions that go along with that year’s memories. We all have our good years and our bad years and 2017 wasn’t one of the greatest for me. I went in and out of my depression moods. Watching the news everyday definitely didn’t bring me one ounce of peace but just another notch on my anxiety belt. It was a rough year for me and Ryan as husband and wife. I didn’t get to do/experience anything I wanted. Whether it be reading a book I said I wanted to read or going on holiday to a city I have never been to before. Don’t get me wrong, there were a handful of moments last year that were wonderful. Ones I will never forget. But it’s not just about everything that has happened around me but a lot more of what I did or (mostly) didn’t do for myself. There is nothing and no one to blame but me. I didn’t work hard or even enough for my own happiness.

My world, love, and attention is set around my family and friends but I have to remind myself I deserve all that for me too.

How can I can make my 2018 a year I’ll look fondly back on? What can I do to FEEL better so I can BE better?

•Love myself. Set some time me time away from kids and pamper myself. Read the books I want to or just sit back and mask!

•Vision board. Make a vision board to get to the places I want to visit and if I can’t get to those places don’t get discouraged. Keep the dream alive! I’ll get there one day but know I’ve got to get up and do something about it. And tack on experiences I want to have. Like a promise to myself to explore my own city. I have to remember adventure doesn’t always have to be expensive or far. It can just be a hike away.

•Plan. As much as I love to plan and be organized I somehow stopped writing things down and making lists and appointments last year. Envision it, write it down, and (hopefully definitely) check it off!

•Be calm. Meditate. Going from 0-100 isn’t always the best way to go. I must remind myself counting 1-10 should be my first go to before I fly off the handle and that a nice calm chat can work wonders. Who needs to yell at the top of their lungs over constantly stepping on toys you’ve told your kids to put away 100 times before they actually listen?

Not me.

Anymore.

Life is getting shorter. My kids are getting older. I try to do the best I can to make sure they get to live their happiest life. They deserve to see me live mine the same exact way and I deserve to actually live it.

Happy New Dreams.

Happy New Days.

Happy New Desires.

Happy New Ways.

Happy New Year.

Hey, BOO!

One of Kole’s favorite “holidays” is fast approaching. Halloween!! The parts he loves most are pumpkin patching, painting the pumpkins, and of course, the costumes! This year, because Ryan was off training and because of the dreadful beginning of fall colds, we didn’t get a chance to paint pumpkins just yet but we nailed the other two so far!

For the past few years we’ve gone to the same pumpkin patch because Kole is a creature of habit. It isn’t the biggest or the most active but we get to do exactly what we want, a quick hunt for a few pumpkins and the most difficult family selfie photo shoot. We never stay too long but we always leave making memories and feeling that family time high.

• • •

Every year I love putting together little goody bags for Kole’s classmates (as per usual, for every and any occasion I can 🙄). I know that’s not news but, you know, segway. Kole is not much into candy and we hate hoarding them, usually because Ryan and I fall victim to candy coma, so I try to stay away from giving too much. I tend to pack the goody bags with bubbles, stickers, or spider rings, etc.

This Halloween goody bag giveaway, I decided to go crafty. I crocheted skull ornaments and Kole picked the little lollipop treat to go with it. ecdefffb-9a33-495c-9db8-7b5c4509682dI got some little spiderweb printed baggies to hold those two things in and there you go. A simple and not too sugary goody bag!

• • •

The costume.

Kole has been so into Ninjago even before it was a movie. He definitely binged on the Ninjago show and all things Ninjago on YouTube. His 6th Birthday was even Ninjago themed, which I’ll blog about in the future. But since the movie came out, his love for the squad sprouted up again in full force. His favorite character always changes but for Halloween he chose to dress up as Lloyd, The Chosen One and Master of Energy!


“Ghosts and goblins, spooks galore. Scary witches at your door. Jack-o-lanterns shining bright. Wishing you a haunting night.”

Have a sweet and safe Halloween from us and the Green Ninja.

Bye Bye, Summertime.

Summertime is coming to a close and the school year is about to begin.  When school let out back in June I was so excited.  I get to spend all my summer days with my oldest as well as my youngest!  Then a week into summer vacation I realized peace was all lost.  Quiet and calm was a distant memory.  I was ready for vacation to be over.  But as much as I yearned for peace and quiet and as much as I was so over and done with each day, the night ended with me and Ryan talking about how much we loved seeing Kole and Monroe together, the way they interacted, and the way they played.  We watched them sleep and wished they were awake because we realized we missed the noise.  Oh, but of course never spoke of it too out loud in case the universe actually listened. We didn’t miss the noise THAT much! Monroe seemed to be playing his own game of shadow and followed every single thing Kole did.  Every word and movement was mimicked. Even right down to when Kole sneezed Monroe tried to sneeze.  You know, what every younger sibling does with their older siblings.  The last couple of months Monroe has learned so many things and for the most part it was Kole teaching him.  I’m going to miss their all day interaction with each other.  I’m especially going to miss watching their imagination on high speed and hearing it at the highest volume possible.And I know, most of all, Monroe is going to miss seeing his brother all day.  His best bud.  His ace.  But it’s time to have Kole go and learn second grade things and I’m excited to listen to all his second grade stories.  Next week we say goodbye to summer and hello to second grade.  Bye, Summer 2017.  Thanks for the memories.

Thinking Back On Pregnant Me.

A very dear friend of mine called me one day and surprised me with some amazing news. She’s pregnant!  She was a person who fiddled around the idea of having children but didn’t particularly plan on it.  She is excited nontheless and I am excited for her.  Like, hella.  As I’m enjoying her news, it takes me through the memories of when I was pregnant.

First, let me say, I was not one of those women who enjoyed pregnancy.  I complained all the time.  ALL. THE. TIME.  I was uncomfortable, irritable, and always tired.  I annoyingly received comments on my body, on how tired I looked, and (my favorite) the comparisons with other pregnant women.  Not to mention the anxiety of thinking of the labor. Which I still felt the second time around adding the anxiety of feeling I wouldn’t know how to be a mother to two kids.  I was a mess!  You know, the pregnancy usual.  These stuck to me and are sometimes the first things I think about when I look back on pregnancy but what sticks out the most is the connection I had with my babies.

Yes, two people started the process but we, as women, are the ones that see it through.  Love and security are what home is and I was their first idea of home.  We were in this together.  We ate the same things.  We felt the same feelings.  We were one.
Although the kicking has a slight hint of creepiness to it, the feeling of a tiny human being growing inside me letting me know “Sup, I’m here mommy and I love you as much as you love me” with a quick roundhouse is pretty amazing.

Despite my list of pregnancy negatives, the positives still shine bright.  I took part in creating two human beings.  I never knew my heart could pump more blood and love than it already did before I became a mother.  Pregnancy may not have been the most enjoyable experience for me but I’m pretty sure the motherhood part suits me just right.