Faith | There have been some things that happened this month that tested our faith. Ryan had his heart set on a career change. He was banking on this new position because it was something he felt will give him a better quality of life. A chance to spend more time with me and the boys and an opportunity to grow within the company and help us better financially in the future. Sadly, under circumstances not in his control, it fell through. With the disappointment with that and the loss of the matriarch in his family, he was under a mini dark cloud.
Feeling negative about things is human nature. That moment of weakness when you feel like you can’t catch a break because when it rains it POURS, you can’t help but feel like you’re drowning. One of the things that I think is very important in a relationship/partnership is that two people can’t be swimming in that pool of negativity. I felt everything he was feeling. I understood why he felt as such but I couldn’t let him believe there wasn’t a good reason. Although we are Catholic, we are not constant church goers or avidly practice Catholicism but our faith in God is big and strong. But we are human, and when our faith touches rocky ground we tend to get lost.
First thing’s first. Dealing with the passing of his grandmother was tough. But through all the heartache and tears came out more opportunities to see family he hasn’t seen in years. Times spent with his siblings were longer and much more frequent. After every weekend we see family, Ryan seems more uplifted and more thankful. Grandma Julie loves that. I promise you.
Second on the list: getting past not getting the opportunity that he so much had his heart set on. We had lots of conversations on keeping faith, letting us let go and accept that God has a bigger and better plan, and we’ve gotten through worse so we can get through this. After those many faith centered conversations and after Ryan finally accepted his fate, he gets a phone call. The recruiters called Ryan and extended an offer to continue on with their company. They even went ahead and told him they pulled it together because they didn’t want to lose such a good candidate.
Faith was tested but in the end, our higher power was on our side reminding us that even though we go through struggle down here, He’s up there working his heavenly magic.
This month was all about the celebration of life. Many things happened this month that just reminded all of us to live life boldly, passionately, happily and with as much love as possible. Here are a couple of my June favorite moments.
Monroe | This month Monroe turned two. Terrifically terrible and two. Lord help me. Ha!
Let me take you back two years ago on the day before his was born. As you may know, Kole is quite the loving little boy. The day before Monroe was born he happened to randomly say to me “Happy Kisses Day, Mommy” (a holiday he clearly made up on his own and on the spot) and gave me a kiss. He then turned to my belly and said, “Happy Kisses Day, Monroe” then gave my belly a kiss.
Fast forward to this year, the day before Monroe’s birthday. Monroe became a little kissing machine. He was handing out free kisses all day! He’s way too young to understand one of my favorite memories but it absolutely made me shed a tear that he may have remembered that little itty bitty voice that reminded him to celebrate a Kole holiday. But don’t be fooled by all those kisses, Monroe can still “make mischief, of one kind or another” because he is a wild thing. King of all the wild things, as a matter of fact. 😉
Las Vegas | Last week we had to make a last minute trip to Vegas. We gathered together with Ryan’s family to celebrate his grandmother’s life and lay her to rest. Although the intent of the trip started out as a sad one, it quickly became a joyous one. I t was a time where family members who don’t often get to see each other (because life) spend some good quality time. They got to talk of stories that brought on nostalgia of their childhood and time spent with their grandmother. I t was a time to bring the youngest generation together to create memories they will happily reminisce about in the future. And because life leads them in different directions, it was a quick reminder that family is still and always will be Thick. As. Hell.
The month of May was a bit of a rocky one for me, emotionally and mentally, but that didn’t stop me from cherishing those special moments with my tribe. Here are my May favorite moments.
Kole’s First Grade Field Trip | This month Kole’s class had a field trip to the Oakland Zoo. Ryan and I were able to chaperone which was pretty cool Kole was able to have both his parents there. Thank God he’s still at that age where he’s still hella down with that idea! Ryan and I were assigned 4 kids in total which was perfect because the other 3 kids happened to be Kole’s most favorite friends. We were so grateful to be able to see the interactions of these four friends. Not a care in the world except to have the best day ever at the zoo with their best buds. With all the craziness happening in the world today it was refreshing to witness these kids anxiously wanting to share their snacks with each other, excitedly wanting to sit next to each other, and caring for each other enough to make sure no one was feeling left out. I hope as they grow older and the vibrancy of the world starts to fade they’ll look back at a sweet memory at that one time in First Grade at the Oakland Zoo where they had a hell of a time with their classmates, where the kids that were their bestest buddies at the time were dope AF because they shared their Oreos, and where they got to hang with the coolest chaperones in town. 😉
Monroe | It’s amazing what a difference a month makes. He is picking things up so quickly! It also helps he has a big brother to look up to, aka completely mimic. When it’s prayer time before bed, he’s all about the sign of the cross and his “amen hands”. He is also becoming much sweeter. As I’ve said before, he is completely the opposite of Kole. He is a major handful and it just seemed he was born in the “terrible twos”. *I see you future CEO, I see you.* The other day I was a bit down and he obviously picked up on it. He was throwing me kisses left and right and the hugs just kept coming. I knew there was more sweet in this sour patch kid than he let on!
Nikko | Nikko is one of my closest and very best girlfriends. We like to think we are more like sisters than friends. She sent me a card in the mail this month and it absolutely made my day. First, sending personal snail mail is a lost art and that in itself lifted my spirits. Her words of appreciation for our friendship meant the freaking world to me. She also commended me on how I am as a mother. When you struggle with yourself trying to figure out if you’re doing the right things for and by your children you can get stuck under a dark cloud that you’ve created for yourself and feel like you’re drowning. Her words gave me some sunshine and a breath of fresh air. We don’t see each other very often but we always know when we need each other and how to be there for each other. Mia sorella per sempre.
What and who saved you from yourself last month? Keep them close and cherish them always. I’m almost positive you’ll need them again.