My kids are not perfect. There are times they don’t listen. There are times they fight. There are times they throw tantrums.
It. Is. Normal.
The other day, my kids and I were at a store and Monroe, who is 2 years old, had a tantrum. The woman behind me felt the need to make all sorts of comments and show all sorts of disgust on the fact that Monroe was upset, irritated, and crying. I don’t much care about what others think but it still isn’t easy to hear other people make you feel you are a complete failure as a parent and absolutely more upsetting to see your oldest child hear someone say something unkind about his little brother.
But make no mistake, if you feel free to make your side comments behind my back, do not be surprised to hear my harsh comments to your face. I am a mother protecting her cubs. I bite.
If you have a toddler, you know it’s that time in their lives they just don’t understand why they can’t have everything they want in the world. That’s where us parents step in. We try our best to teach them right and wrong, good and bad, and patience. We all know trying to teach a child that takes time and a whole lot of patience on our part as well. It’s frustrating as hell but that’s our job, to make sure we do our very best to raise them to be good people.
When we say no to our kids, do you think we enjoy watching them cry and get upset? Absolutely not! I choose to say no to them for certain things they don’t need. I choose to have my heart break everytime they cry or get upset because I took something away from them they didn’t deserve. So they will understand they will get it back when they have earned it from hardwork, kindness, etc. and not because they yelled for it. I choose this way so they don’t become grown men who throw tantrums and so they understand the word NO when they hear it.
Look, I’m doing my best here. So if you aren’t here to help, then keep on walking. I don’t need anybody making me feel less than. Parents do that to themselves enough.
Moral of the story, if you see a toddler out there throwing a tantrum, you can either help the poor parents or just STFU.
One of Kole’s favorite “holidays” is fast approaching. Halloween!! The parts he loves most are pumpkin patching, painting the pumpkins, and of course, the costumes! This year, because Ryan was off training and because of the dreadful beginning of fall colds, we didn’t get a chance to paint pumpkins just yet but we nailed the other two so far!
For the past few years we’ve gone to the same pumpkin patch because Kole is a creature of habit. It isn’t the biggest or the most active but we get to do exactly what we want, a quick hunt for a few pumpkins and the most difficult family selfie photo shoot. We never stay too long but we always leave making memories and feeling that family time high.
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Every year I love putting together little goody bags for Kole’s classmates (as per usual, for every and any occasion I can 🙄). I know that’s not news but, you know, segway. Kole is not much into candy and we hate hoarding them, usually because Ryan and I fall victim to candy coma, so I try to stay away from giving too much. I tend to pack the goody bags with bubbles, stickers, or spider rings, etc.
This Halloween goody bag giveaway, I decided to go crafty. I crocheted skull ornaments and Kole picked the little lollipop treat to go with it. I got some little spiderweb printed baggies to hold those two things in and there you go. A simple and not too sugary goody bag!
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Kole has been so into Ninjago even before it was a movie. He definitely binged on the Ninjago show and all things Ninjago on YouTube. His 6th Birthday was even Ninjago themed, which I’ll blog about in the future. But since the movie came out, his love for the squad sprouted up again in full force. His favorite character always changes but for Halloween he chose to dress up as Lloyd, The Chosen One and Master of Energy!
“Ghosts and goblins, spooks galore. Scary witches at your door. Jack-o-lanterns shining bright. Wishing you a haunting night.”
Have a sweet and safe Halloween from us and the Green Ninja.
September was a crazy, crazy month. Between Ryan being gone, parenting alone, and being sick, I survived. Huge shouts to my parents for helping me every single moment I needed and need them. Through all the chaotic moments that happened this month I still had my favorites.
Ryan & Kat | If you read my last blog you know that Ryan and I reached our nine year wedding anniversary. We celebrated with a simple greeting over FaceTime and it was just fine with us. He was (and still is) off training for a new job and we wouldn’t want our nine year anniversary to be any different. We realized so much about ourselves individually during this time apart. We reintroduced ourselves to ourselves and have discovered we are stronger than we thought, more persistent to survive, and just more capable. We’ve been so used to being Ryan and Kat we forgot how it was to be Ryan and to be Kat. It was pretty nice to get to know me a little bit again.
Ryan is on the last leg of his training. He has a couple of more weeks left (hopefully) but at least he’s back in the same time zone. I am extremely proud of him for working so hard. He graduated last week after vigorous studying and testing. He has never studied so much in his life! There were days he loved his score and other days he wished he did better but he never let that consume him. Although we didn’t talk for long periods of time we were still able to talk here and there, nothing more than 8-10 minutes but when we did talk, it was all words of encouragement from me and all words of faith from him. We had to remind each other to take it day by day and test by test. We knew if we kept God in mind, everything will be all right. I mean, who are we? Better people I hope that stick around.
Kole & Monroe | As I watch how things are unfolding in the world today, I watch closely on how Kole and Monroe are socially. Yes, at home these kids can drive me up the wall, refuse to listen, and test my patience to the max but when I see them interact with other people I have a glimmer of hope for a better future. I have always taught Kole how to be a little gentleman. For example: Reminders of opening doors for people, why you open doors and how they make other people feel. As Kole is getting older he started opening doors for me and letting me and his little brother go first. And now it is grown to opening doors for strangers, especially women. And because Monroe looks up to his brother more than anyone else in the entire world, I witnessed Monroe try to open the door for someone for the first time at the post office. It brought a huge smile to this women to see a seven year old and a two year old try and open the door for her. Moments like that remind me that even though I have mommy breakdowns (quite often) I’m not doing too bad as a parent. Not at all.
What brought out your happy last month?
This month was all about the celebration of life. Many things happened this month that just reminded all of us to live life boldly, passionately, happily and with as much love as possible. Here are a couple of my June favorite moments.
Monroe | This month Monroe turned two. Terrifically terrible and two. Lord help me. Ha!
Let me take you back two years ago on the day before his was born. As you may know, Kole is quite the loving little boy. The day before Monroe was born he happened to randomly say to me “Happy Kisses Day, Mommy” (a holiday he clearly made up on his own and on the spot) and gave me a kiss. He then turned to my belly and said, “Happy Kisses Day, Monroe” then gave my belly a kiss.
Fast forward to this year, the day before Monroe’s birthday. Monroe became a little kissing machine. He was handing out free kisses all day! He’s way too young to understand one of my favorite memories but it absolutely made me shed a tear that he may have remembered that little itty bitty voice that reminded him to celebrate a Kole holiday. But don’t be fooled by all those kisses, Monroe can still “make mischief, of one kind or another” because he is a wild thing. King of all the wild things, as a matter of fact. 😉
Las Vegas | Last week we had to make a last minute trip to Vegas. We gathered together with Ryan’s family to celebrate his grandmother’s life and lay her to rest. Although the intent of the trip started out as a sad one, it quickly became a joyous one. I t was a time where family members who don’t often get to see each other (because life) spend some good quality time. They got to talk of stories that brought on nostalgia of their childhood and time spent with their grandmother. I t was a time to bring the youngest generation together to create memories they will happily reminisce about in the future. And because life leads them in different directions, it was a quick reminder that family is still and always will be Thick. As. Hell.
The month of May was a bit of a rocky one for me, emotionally and mentally, but that didn’t stop me from cherishing those special moments with my tribe. Here are my May favorite moments.
Kole’s First Grade Field Trip | This month Kole’s class had a field trip to the Oakland Zoo. Ryan and I were able to chaperone which was pretty cool Kole was able to have both his parents there. Thank God he’s still at that age where he’s still hella down with that idea! Ryan and I were assigned 4 kids in total which was perfect because the other 3 kids happened to be Kole’s most favorite friends. We were so grateful to be able to see the interactions of these four friends. Not a care in the world except to have the best day ever at the zoo with their best buds. With all the craziness happening in the world today it was refreshing to witness these kids anxiously wanting to share their snacks with each other, excitedly wanting to sit next to each other, and caring for each other enough to make sure no one was feeling left out. I hope as they grow older and the vibrancy of the world starts to fade they’ll look back at a sweet memory at that one time in First Grade at the Oakland Zoo where they had a hell of a time with their classmates, where the kids that were their bestest buddies at the time were dope AF because they shared their Oreos, and where they got to hang with the coolest chaperones in town. 😉
Monroe | It’s amazing what a difference a month makes. He is picking things up so quickly! It also helps he has a big brother to look up to, aka completely mimic. When it’s prayer time before bed, he’s all about the sign of the cross and his “amen hands”. He is also becoming much sweeter. As I’ve said before, he is completely the opposite of Kole. He is a major handful and it just seemed he was born in the “terrible twos”. *I see you future CEO, I see you.* The other day I was a bit down and he obviously picked up on it. He was throwing me kisses left and right and the hugs just kept coming. I knew there was more sweet in this sour patch kid than he let on!
Nikko | Nikko is one of my closest and very best girlfriends. We like to think we are more like sisters than friends. She sent me a card in the mail this month and it absolutely made my day. First, sending personal snail mail is a lost art and that in itself lifted my spirits. Her words of appreciation for our friendship meant the freaking world to me. She also commended me on how I am as a mother. When you struggle with yourself trying to figure out if you’re doing the right things for and by your children you can get stuck under a dark cloud that you’ve created for yourself and feel like you’re drowning. Her words gave me some sunshine and a breath of fresh air. We don’t see each other very often but we always know when we need each other and how to be there for each other. Mia sorella per sempre.
What and who saved you from yourself last month? Keep them close and cherish them always. I’m almost positive you’ll need them again.
That I am, a product of a strong female.
My mom is one of the most hardworking people I know. She literally is the first one in the office and the last one to leave. She puts everything she has into her work, whether she is the most energetic or the most exhausted. She’s accomplished so many things in her life and it came with a lot of struggles and that’s what’s so admirable to me. No matter what was thrown her way, she got shit done!
When it comes to family, she is all in. She’s the first one to help in any way she can. She leaves no man down. She’s always been there for me and my brother no matter how difficult we are. Always. How does she deal with us? She’s a damn good mother.
The fight and the heart of a mother is the strongest of any kind. The moment a women feels that maternal instinct there is no stopping her. There is no breaking her. I, myself, know that when it comes to my boys I was always fight to the death. I will always fight for them to know the value of hard work. I will always fight for them to know what true love is. How to show it and how to receive it. I will always fight for them to know how strong they can be, not just physically, but intellectually. I will work tirelessly to make sure they embrace equality and to be strong enough to stand up for what is right. I will fight to make sure they know chivalry is not dead and should never die.
I will always fight for them (in any capacity) because, they too, are a product of a strong female.
Happy Mother’s Day to all you strong females!