Tag: blog

Thinking Back On Pregnant Me.

A very dear friend of mine called me one day and surprised me with some amazing news. She’s pregnant!  She was a person who fiddled around the idea of having children but didn’t particularly plan on it.  She is excited nontheless and I am excited for her.  Like, hella.  As I’m enjoying her news, it takes me through the memories of when I was pregnant.

First, let me say, I was not one of those women who enjoyed pregnancy.  I complained all the time.  ALL. THE. TIME.  I was uncomfortable, irritable, and always tired.  I annoyingly received comments on my body, on how tired I looked, and (my favorite) the comparisons with other pregnant women.  Not to mention the anxiety of thinking of the labor. Which I still felt the second time around adding the anxiety of feeling I wouldn’t know how to be a mother to two kids.  I was a mess!  You know, the pregnancy usual.  These stuck to me and are sometimes the first things I think about when I look back on pregnancy but what sticks out the most is the connection I had with my babies.

Yes, two people started the process but we, as women, are the ones that see it through.  Love and security are what home is and I was their first idea of home.  We were in this together.  We ate the same things.  We felt the same feelings.  We were one.
Although the kicking has a slight hint of creepiness to it, the feeling of a tiny human being growing inside me letting me know “Sup, I’m here mommy and I love you as much as you love me” with a quick roundhouse is pretty amazing.

Despite my list of pregnancy negatives, the positives still shine bright.  I took part in creating two human beings.  I never knew my heart could pump more blood and love than it already did before I became a mother.  Pregnancy may not have been the most enjoyable experience for me but I’m pretty sure the motherhood part suits me just right.

The Light. :#tbt

This is a blog post I wrote in September 2012.  It’s interesting to go back and read entries from the past.  It’s difficult to remember those tough emotions but it makes me appreciate how much better I am today.  How much more control I have over my happiness rather than being so out of control in my darkness.  I was going through a lot at the time, finding my way out of postpartum depression (for the first time) and trying to sort out the world around me.  It was a rough time for me.  But even in that time, I still managed to see light at the end of that dark tunnel I was stranded in with the help of two of my very, very close friends.

• • •

The Light.


Time ticks away.  Life moves on.  When you get a chance to just sit and let all that be and you get to reflect on everything, do just that.  Reflect.

Since I became a mother who was able to stay at home and watch my son grow, I was (am) able to reflect a lot on my friendships.  Once my life changed into scattered milk bottles and first words, my friends continued on with their single and dirty diaper-less lives.  I don’t regret one bit that I have gained a certain responsibility, but I do regret how some of my friendships turned out.

When people have different priorities their outlooks on things are obviously just as different.  How did all of a sudden I felt that they absolutely couldn’t be there for me anymore?  But also, how did all of a sudden they felt they couldn’t talk to me like they used to?
Well, let’s take a look.  After I had my son, I unfortunately got that dreaded dark cloud over my head that, as I’ve learned, comes naturally after child birth.  I wouldn’t say it was a black shade but more on the gray scale.  But during that tough time, I took a break from EVERYONE.  I had to grasp what was going on within me on my own.  At that point, I knew my friends wouldn’t understand. Luckily, after I finally opened up to them, I was starting to feel a little more normal.  After I reconnected with them, some relationships got tighter and others just continued to loosen.

It cuts very deep to know that the person you always called first for anything will barely answer the phone.  I guess she’s just too damn busy.  Too busy to say hello.  Too busy to grab a bite or a cup of joe.  Just too busy for….Me. But because of the ever growing world of technology and social networking, I know for a fact this person is not too busy for the people she sees everyday, or the friend who lives thousands of miles away, or anyone else but me (it seems). While all this is happening, I have accepted it and told myself that it’s ok.  If my life isn’t as interesting as it once was to this person, I have found that it is still interesting to others.  I was able to nurture the friendships that didn’t change and because of the roller coaster of emotions I have felt for the past couple of years, I am forever grateful for them.  They never gave up on me.  They had faith that the fog would lift.  That I would see brighter days and they made sure that it was with them that I would share the sunshine.

To A: Thank you for just listening.  I appreciate you more than you can ever imagine. Thank you for trusting me with your feelings on love and appreciating the advice and knowledge I can share with you on the subject.  You have been and will ALWAYS be someone I can rely on.

To D: You are my sanity and my strength.  You definitely play a huge part in helping me rebuild myself when I have completely fallen apart.  For being miles away from each other, you are always there when I need you.  You’re there when I want to cry, to yell, and to just laugh. I love you with all my heart and soul.

A&D: Thank you for bringing me light.

My Favorite Moments – June

This month was all about the celebration of life.  Many things happened this month that just reminded all of us to live life boldly, passionately, happily and with as much love as possible.  Here are a couple of my June favorite moments.

Monroe | This month Monroe turned two. Terrifically terrible and two. Lord help me. Ha!

Let me take you back two years ago on the day before his was born.  As you may know, Kole is quite the loving little boy.  The day before Monroe was born he happened to randomly say to me “Happy Kisses Day, Mommy” (a holiday he clearly made up on his own and on the spot) and gave me a kiss.  He then turned to my belly and said, “Happy Kisses Day, Monroe” then gave my belly a kiss.

Fast forward to this year, the day before Monroe’s birthday.  Monroe became a little kissing machine.  He was handing out free kisses all day!  He’s way too young to understand one of my favorite memories but it absolutely made me shed a tear that he may have remembered that little itty bitty voice that reminded him to celebrate a Kole holiday.  But don’t be fooled by all those kisses, Monroe can still “make mischief, of one kind or another” because he is a wild thing.  King of all the wild things, as a matter of fact. 😉


Las Vegas | Last week we had to make a last minute trip to Vegas.  We gathered together with Ryan’s family to celebrate his grandmother’s life and lay her to rest.  Although the intent of the trip started out as a sad one, it quickly became a joyous one. I t was a time where family members who don’t often get to see each other (because life) spend some good quality time.  They got to talk of stories that brought on nostalgia of their childhood and time spent with their grandmother. I t was a time to bring the youngest generation together to create memories they will happily reminisce about in the future. And because life leads them in different directions, it was a quick reminder that family is still and always will be Thick. As. Hell.

MY Intent. : SORELLA

In this materialistic land we roam today, amazing gifts are measured by how expensive it is, how high it is on a top 100 list, or how envious you can make someone when you put it up on the ‘gram.  Let’s face it, being a stay at home mom doesn’t pay the bills so it won’t buy extravagance for any other outside of the home.  So I try hard to really think up gifts that suit the receiver so I know every penny I spent was worth it to them.  Thought is a huge part in my gift giving.  That is, of course, if I’m not extremely backed up with kid things and if I know with absolute certainty that cash and a gift card is what they yearn for the most.
It was one of my very bestest friends’ birthday a couple of months ago and we don’t always exchange gifts on birthdays because we prefer time and talk over objects anyway. But this year when I thought about her birthday, I thought about the perfect gift for her. A video I came across on Facebook (watch here!) got me sucked in and intrigued. It was the video of a man who created MyIntent Project.  It’s simple unique jewelry that shares meaningful intentions.  The website states:

“MyIntent Project is a catalyst for meaningful conversations and positive action.
We believe there is purpose inside each of us and we want our efforts to encourage people to share more truth and inspiration with each other.

We are not a jewelry company – we are a service project.”

Refreshing, am I right?  You simply go on the website, choose the type of accessory, and choose your WORD.

For my dear friend I chose “SORELLA” which means sister in Italian.  She moved to Italy for a bit to rejuvenate and refocus. It was an important chapter in her life so all things Italian holds a very special place in her heart.  And her being my one of my dearest friends, she holds a very special place in mine.  So I gave her this gift so she will forever know MY intent.  To continue to be there for her as I’ve always been no matter where life leads us.  That I will never judge her for her most truest feelings.  That I always will be happy for her success and always be by her side during her milestones.  That I will infinitely appreciate the friendship and loyalty she has given me since day one on that crazy Colma night.

What’s special to you?  What’s your hope or dream for the future?

What’s your WORD?

First Grade, you were good.

As the 2016-2017 school year is wrapping up, I try and remind Kole to cherish every moment as the last week is rounding out.  He loves school.  He loves his teacher.  He loves his friends.  Kole was lucky enough to have the same teacher for Kindergarten and First Grade so it’ll be just as sad for me to say goodbye to First Grade as it will be for Kole.  If you know me, you know I love putting little gift sets together because I love giving gifts.  Kole has definitely got that trait from me because we both always talk about what the next thing we can get or make for his classmates and teacher.  After spending a couple of hours with his classmates on the class field trip I saw how extremely excited they got over popcorn.  Yes, popcorn!  I’ve seen excitement for cookies, candy, and ice cream but it seemed their love for popcorn ran deep! So I put a bag of popcorn and a bottle of bubbles in a cellophane bag so they can take a sit out in the sunshine, blow some bubbles, and snack on some good ol’ kettle corn.  Happy summer, kids!

“Hope your summer is poppin’.  Your friend, Kole.”

We can’t forget a little something for the captain of the class.  The person who was able to hold it down for 20 of our little ones from the days of crisp fall air all the way until the summer sun heats up.

Processed with VSCO with hb1 presetProcessed with VSCO with hb1 presetHis teacher is one of the reasons he loves school and is always excited to learn.  I wanted to make sure she knew that we appreciated everything she’s done with and for Kole for the past two years.  You’ll always be Kole’s very first favorite teacher.

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“Have a sweet  & soothing summer.  Love, Kole”IMG_2664

Thank you First Grade.  You were the best.  Second Grade, we’re ready for you.

Have a great summer and remember to watch more sunsets than Netflix.  

Kettle Corn | Bubbles | Cellophane Bags | Photo Box |Anti Bacterial Soap |Tree Hut Travel Set | Face Mask | Bath Salts