Category: Special Days

Mom. Mommy. Mama. Mimi.

I once was very scared to have children. When I got married, I didn’t even think I would want any kids. Not only was I deathly afraid of being pregnant and birthing a human, I didn’t think I would naturally know what to do or how to love a child. I babysat a couple times at one point but that experience definitely did NOT tickle the ovaries. But once I got pregnant something just clicked. I was going to be a mom and I was….excited.

Now here I am with two children and I wouldn’t know how my life would have turned out if it changed course. I don’t even think I want to know how my life would be if I didn’t have my two boys. Being a mom still comes with crippling fear and anxiety no matter what age they are. I constantly think I am doing all the wrong things and the other half of the time I feel like I don’t even know WHAT I am doing. But what I do know is that I love my kids fiercely and I will do anything and everything for them. It really does take a village to raise these babies and if it wasn’t for these women, past and present, I don’t think I could do it.

And when I have those moments where I question my ability as a mother, I look to the women I admire the most. Not all of them may have children of their own but their maternal instincts are on high and I appreciate them all just the same. I dive into a safe space with all these women and talk about my thoughts and feelings and I appreciate their words and support.

To my mom who shows me that no matter what stage the relationship between mother and child are, the love will always be fierce. My kids never have any doubt how deep and how strong my love for them will always be. I’ve made it a point to have a little mantra with them during the tough times.

“Me: Even if I’m upset…
Them: You still love me?
Me: I still love you.”

To my aunts and grandmothers, who offered me a space to be able to come to them when I just couldn’t go to my mom for whatever reason. They let me vent about whatever was happening in my life and listened like a friend and guided me like a mother.

To the women I have met through my children’s school, the teachers and PTA patnas that have become friends. We have created bonds through these primary school years because our children are going through these growing pains together. We are able to lean on each other since we all are experiencing the same things at the same time. We all know how hard this mom thing is, and we never once thought to judge one another. These women taught me that village isn’t just in blood and I am forever grateful for their love and care for not only me but for my children as well.

Mother in law, sisters in law, mother figures to me, mother figures to my kids, cousins, sisters and other friends. The list of women who make me a better woman and mother is long. I’ve listened to their words and I’ve watched how they move. I have surrounded myself with a whole bunch of badass mamas and I can’t think of a better group of women to help me raise my boys. Thank you, each and every one of you, immensely, for being my village of women.

HMD.

This is my first Lucy Score @scorelucy book and oooooweeee is this one hot saucy. Loved this rom-com with a sprinkle of spice!!! It’s a must read! Full review on my blog coming soon! Tried a new spot with the family yesterday and it was a fashoyourighton! (IFYKYK). Sunday Grub. Are you into dark, crazy, and bizarre? SAHM Sweat Chic.

Kole And The One Three.

Last month my oldest turned thirteen. THIRTEEN. I’ve said this so many times and I’ll keep saying it again and again…Father Time, you are wildin’!!

I remember the day he was born so clearly. I remember all the events that lead up to his birth, all the people who were around me and the conversations I had over the phone. So many funny, scary, and beautiful moments of that time in April 2010. Then we blink. And the year is all of a sudden 2023 and the boy is all of a sudden a teenager.

I admit, I look back in time and I cryyyyy. I want so very badly to carry him in my arms and sing him lullabies. I want him to call me mommy and tell me silly stories in his baby voice. I want him to still look up at me and hold my hand. But all the things that I want, can no longer be.

I look at him and the baby face features are fading. His voice has completely changed, his face doesn’t always light up when he sees me and holding my hand is an absolute NO. GO. I am absolutely terrified of this new stage we have been slowly entering and I have no idea what I’m doing. I feel like all my words and choices are all wrong when it comes to parenting a teenager. I can no longer make decisions I think are best for him. I have to learn to give him the freedom to make those on his own so he can learn all the lessons he needs to learn.

I know it’s time for me to look at my little boy as a young man taking control of his own life. As much as I’m having a hard time with this, I can put a positive spin on it and be completely proud of him for advocating for himself. He’s learning new things about himself and trying to figure out what kind of human he wants to be. He’s trying new things to figure out what makes him happy and what brings him joy.

All the things I get frustrated with about him are things I know could possibly be his strengths. When I offer up a punishment he sits there and questions my choice. He debates with me making sure the “punishment fits the crime”. And he never settles for “because I said so.” In the moment, I’m furious with all of that. But with a clear mind I can see how healthy it is that he knows to fight for himself no matter who he’s fighting with. We just need to work on his delivery. *eye roll* He and I are hella similar, I feel so bad for my own mom. But again, with a clear mind and time, my mom has also seen I will not and never have settled and I will and have always fought for myself in the same way Kole does.

Despite the puberty part of it all, I enjoy seeing the journey of his change. Kole has always had a good heart and I know he is growing up to be a strong, smart, and talented gentleman because he is a strong, smart, and talented young man. With spice. I can’t be all that mad because let’s be a 100, he get it from his mama.

This is my first Lucy Score @scorelucy book and oooooweeee is this one hot saucy. Loved this rom-com with a sprinkle of spice!!! It’s a must read! Full review on my blog coming soon! Tried a new spot with the family yesterday and it was a fashoyourighton! (IFYKYK). Sunday Grub. Are you into dark, crazy, and bizarre? SAHM Sweat Chic.

Sweet Somethings.

I don’t like celebrating February 14th much because it just isn’t one of my favorite celebrations. But whenever February rolls around, I do have a little tradition I have with the boys.

It all started in February 2019, Kole was 8 and Monroe was 4. I surprised the boys with a little note each day from February 1st through February 14th.

I would cut pieces of different colored cardstock into hearts and wrote little notes on them. I would write little things that told them what I love about them and every night, for 14 nights, I would tape the heart shaped notes on the wall for them to find and read in the morning. To my surprise, they were just as happy and excited finding the notes as they are about opening up gifts on Christmas Eve night.

That year, we ended up keeping the notes up all year round. As the seasons changed and the next February 1st rolled around, the hearts were taken down only to make room for that year’s set of Love Notes.

The boys have a memory box that they keep each of the notes I wrote for them. It is only in this moment, that I am not going crazy over how much of hoarders they are. They never want to let go of anything! There are times I have to negotiate with them on items they can keep and what they MUST get rid of! Thankfully, these Love Notes are a non negotiable for them.

Alas, February 2023 is here and a whole new set of Love Notes with sweet somethings are ready to be written for them.

To The Boys I Will Love Always. 🤎

Holly Daze. 2018.

This holiday season was sure a busy one for me this year.  Since I started my holiday shopping pretty early this year, I had this idea (from Pinterest of course) to decorate my Christmas gifts my own way.  I bought Kraft paper rolls and used my paint pens to address and decorate the gifts.  Although it took a whole lot of time, it was the most satisfying holiday craft project I’ve done!  It was a great way to put my little personal touch to the holidays!

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On to Kole’s class.  If you know me or follow this blog, then you know I can’t let a major holiday/event go with making the class goodie bags.  Last year, I made the kids little snowflake ornaments and this year I knitted mini stockings and stuffed them up with a couple of holiday candies.

His teacher and his classmates thought it was pretty cool and were all smiles so I’d say we had another class Holiday success!

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Everyday I start the mornings off with the news on tv.  That may not always be the best idea because of how absolutely depressing the entire world is right now, but it’s always a good idea to keep updated.  While I make breakfast for the boys, Kole is always paying attention to the news as well.  Last year he was so concerned and felt such sadness for the victims of the Tubbs Fire that he asked me if there was something we can do.  (And yes, that made me cry!)  So that was the beginning of a new family holiday tradition.  As a family, we decided to make a donation cup, which Kole decorated himself, and leave the cup in the middle of the dining table during Christmas and ask the family if they’d like to donate.

We are a small family but I know our donations helped a little and it surely did teach the kids in our family that the holidays are not only about all the gifts they receive for themselves but also how small gestures and just the act of love and care can be a huge gift to someone else.  Last year we donated to SonomaStrong Fire Relief and Recovery by Rotary.  2018 news had a whole lot of coverage on the homeless.  It’s sad how many people live on the streets here in the Bay Area, absolutely heartbreaking.  So just like last year, Kole chose a cause and he wanted to try to help the homeless somehow.  Our donations are going to a great organization started and ran by a family friend of ours called, The City Eats.  Ryan has volunteered with this organization and has even brought Kole along to help prep the meals as well.

“Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store.  Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.” -Dr. Seuss

With the way the world is today, I am doing everything I can to make sure I raise little gentlemen that move through this world with intentions of love and care for others everyday and especially during the holidays.

Hope you all had a magical holiday full of love and lots of Christmas lights!! 

 

HMD. 2018.

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This year I’m going to give a shout out to my boys. After all, without them I wouldn’t be part of this motherhood club.

They have changed my life in so many ways. Never in my life have I felt so anxious. Anxiety and panic attacks come full force. I’m deathly afraid of anything just in the case they get hurt in any way or in the case I get hurt in any way. Because who the hell would take care for my kids the way I do if something happened to me? No one. Because even if their dad can take care of them just fine, he still can’t do it like mommy does. (Ask him. He’ll co-sign. I promise.) Before I had kids it was that YOLO life. Now, as a mother, it’s YOLO but LET’S BE CAUTIOUS YALL!!!!

But that’s ok with me. I always thought of myself as a selfish person in my young adult life (which I’m sure we all were). Thinking of throwing myself in front of danger for someone else made me think twice and lay out pros and cons before I actually would decide whether or not I would do that for someone no matter how much I loved and cared for them. Then I had kids.

And once I entered motherhood I had already made up my mind. I would run into a burning building for my children and I would lift any heavy machinery in my way to get to my kids. No doubt about it.

To my Kole and Monroe, I want to thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for reminding me about hope and love on dark days. Thank you for the random hugs and kisses you give. Thank you for saying “please” and “thank you”. Thank you for loving me unconditionally despite the irritation, the yelling, and especially despite the limited tech time I offer because of all the irritation you both offer me. 😒

I thank them because they made me a mom. And because no matter how much I think I am the worse mother in the world, little things like opening the door for me and giving me the green M&Ms because green is my favorite color, remind me that I’m not such a bad a great mom.

Cheers to our children for making us mothers.

And cheers to us moms. We hold the home down, we channel our inner superhero for our little ones, and we catch throw up with our bare hands. MVP.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Merry Everything And Happy Always.

Christmas has come and gone but I still wanted to share what Kole and I came up with for his class giveaway this year.

Last year I crocheted mini wreaths and attached a mini candy cane to it.  They were the cutest little things!  It was a hit with the class and with his first grade teacher as well.  I’ve got to say it brings me and Kole the most joy when we see people enjoy the little gifts we give.  They are never too big but they are made and put together with lots of love and excitement.

This holiday we decided on giving friends and neighbors homemade sweets.  I happened to buy the treat boxes and treat bags with snowflakes all over them on two different occasions so Kole and I decided to go with the accidental theme.  This year we came up with snowflake ornaments to give to his class.  All I needed was a crochet hook, some yarn, mini ornaments, and a treat bag.

I crocheted the snowflakes and attached the mini ball ornaments to the front to spruce it up a bit and put the finished product in a little baggie to keep it safe until it got onto their tree.

The kids LOVED it! I had some girls in his class tell us how cute they were and some boys tell us how cool the snowflake was.  So I’d say it was a major hit!

We did it!  We brought a little merry and a little bright to a few little hearts which brought a lot of joy to ours.

Hope you had a merry everything and we wish you a happy always.

Hey, BOO!

One of Kole’s favorite “holidays” is fast approaching. Halloween!! The parts he loves most are pumpkin patching, painting the pumpkins, and of course, the costumes! This year, because Ryan was off training and because of the dreadful beginning of fall colds, we didn’t get a chance to paint pumpkins just yet but we nailed the other two so far!

For the past few years we’ve gone to the same pumpkin patch because Kole is a creature of habit. It isn’t the biggest or the most active but we get to do exactly what we want, a quick hunt for a few pumpkins and the most difficult family selfie photo shoot. We never stay too long but we always leave making memories and feeling that family time high.

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Every year I love putting together little goody bags for Kole’s classmates (as per usual, for every and any occasion I can 🙄). I know that’s not news but, you know, segway. Kole is not much into candy and we hate hoarding them, usually because Ryan and I fall victim to candy coma, so I try to stay away from giving too much. I tend to pack the goody bags with bubbles, stickers, or spider rings, etc.

This Halloween goody bag giveaway, I decided to go crafty. I crocheted skull ornaments and Kole picked the little lollipop treat to go with it. ecdefffb-9a33-495c-9db8-7b5c4509682dI got some little spiderweb printed baggies to hold those two things in and there you go. A simple and not too sugary goody bag!

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The costume.

Kole has been so into Ninjago even before it was a movie. He definitely binged on the Ninjago show and all things Ninjago on YouTube. His 6th Birthday was even Ninjago themed, which I’ll blog about in the future. But since the movie came out, his love for the squad sprouted up again in full force. His favorite character always changes but for Halloween he chose to dress up as Lloyd, The Chosen One and Master of Energy!


“Ghosts and goblins, spooks galore. Scary witches at your door. Jack-o-lanterns shining bright. Wishing you a haunting night.”

Have a sweet and safe Halloween from us and the Green Ninja.

HMD. 2017.


That I am, a product of a strong female.

My mom is one of the most hardworking people I know.  She literally is the first one in the office and the last one to leave.  She puts everything she has into her work, whether she is the most energetic or the most exhausted.  She’s accomplished so many things in her life and it came with a lot of struggles and that’s what’s so admirable to me.  No matter what was thrown her way, she got shit done!
When it comes to family, she is all in.  She’s the first one to help in any way she can.  She leaves no man down.  She’s always been there for me and my brother no matter how difficult we are.  Always.  How does she deal with us?  She’s a damn good mother.

The fight and the heart of a mother is the strongest of any kind.  The moment a woman feels that maternal instinct there is no stopping her.  There is no breaking her.  I, myself, know that when it comes to my boys I was always fight to the death.  I will always fight for them to know the value of hard work.  I will always fight for them to know what true love is.  How to show it and how to receive it.  I will always fight for them to know how strong they can be, not just physically, but intellectually.  I will work tirelessly to make sure they embrace equality and to be strong enough to stand up for what is right. I will fight to make sure they know chivalry is not dead and should never die.

I will always fight for them (in any capacity) because, they too, are a product of a strong female.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you strong females!

Cheers to Seven

I can’t believe we celebrated Kole turning 7. SEVEN!! Where the hell did time go?

We threw a party for him at his favorite place to celebrate, The Little Gym.  He loves the simple, yet fun, activities the instructors put together for the kids.  Whenever we have small birthday parties for him, my favorite part is all the DIYs.  I. Am. The. Most. *insert eye roll emoji here* This year’s theme was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and that was was a fun one to brainstorm for.

The Setup:

  1. Pizza Garland: TMNT and pizza must go hand in hand.  I cut up cardstock paper into triangles and used a circle punch I got from Michael’s to make the little pepperoni and glued them on each triangle alternating three pep’s on one and four on the next. 3+4=7 I’M ANNOYING. Ha!
  2. TMNT & NYC Centerpieces: At the Little Gym, after the kid activities are done, the children get to sit and eat on a long table set up just for them so I decided to make centerpieces to add a little life to the table cloth set up.  I used dry foam bricks, cut them up to resemble city buildings, then wrapped them up in black tissue paper.  Then I cut up pieces of yellow card stock paper to resemble the windows and glued them on the “buildings”. For the TMNT heads I traced the inner part of a mason jar lid, cut them up, and glued them on woody skinny sticks, and stuck them right through the top of the wrapped foam brick.
  3. The Favor: Like I’ve said before, TMNT and pizza just goes hand in hand, so I ordered some pizza boxes on amazon and bought a printable on Etsy that was perfect for my boxes. On the inside: I DIY’d nunchucks since my son’s favorite turtle is Mikey. I crocheted masks and put together some TMNT nicknacks. Phew!
  4. Cake & Other Sweet Stuff: We are so lucky to know so many talented bakers! We contacted our close resources to help make Kole’s party the most AWESOME!       *The cake was made by a friend who has made Kole a birthday cake for every single one of his birthdays and his baptism. He loves how she brings his visions to life. (Yes, Kole takes part in planning his birthday cake!) *The Cupcakes were made by another friend who is our go to. Her cupcakes are simple but delicious as hell.  Kole loves her version of the S’more cupcakes so they were a must for the party. *The TMNT cookies were made by my cousin’s close friend who is an extremely talented pastry chef.  She surprised me with the pizza cookies and custom labels for the boxes to say “Kole’s Cowabunga Pizza”. How freaking cool is that!!!??! *The TMNT M&M packs were hand made and put together by one of my best friends who is not only busy being an amazing mom but also busy building her own business. Those were one of the favorites of the kiddie guests because who doesn’t love M&Ms!!

This party was so fun to put together because everything was pretty simple to DIY. Crocheting the masks took the most time so I started with that in January only because I knew that life can get in the way and I wanted to make sure that those definitely got into the favor boxes. Kole loved every detail we added to his party and he had a hell of a time. BOOYAKASHA!