On September 20th, 2008, a couple of 20 somethings walked down the aisle and vowed promises of forever and always to one another. That was us.
Ryan and I have always been honest about what our marriage is. We are very clear that marriage is difficult. We are no strangers to vocal public fights. Our close friends and families are always pulled in to hear our testimonies but we never asked them to take sides. But we try to always ask, “What could I do to make this better?” Our friends and family know us well individually and as a couple and we have been extremely blessed to have people in our lives that believe in our love and union and support the success of it.
When Ryan and I had the conversation of marriage as an unmarried couple, we both happened to be on the same page. When we spoke of marriage we talked about the hard work we had to put in. Marriage is not always easy like Sunday morning. My main focus was not about my wedding dress. It was not about my guest list. It was about making sure that we can make this work for as long as we vowed to make it work for. Forever. Forever is a long damn time. As the times and seasons change, people change. What we can hope for and what we can fight through is to try to not necessarily change but to grow and hopefully in our journey to grow as individuals we can grow together as husband and wife. Always.
Last anniversary was the first one in a while where we felt good in our marriage. Like I say about our marriage when asked, we have good years and we have our unbearable ones. Years 7 & 8 were rough ones. We went through a lot as a couple and those two rough ass years had divorce on the tongue. Our kind side vs. our stubborn side were at a constant battle. As much as we told ourselves to be kind to our partner the opposite would win and Petty Betty was the name of the game. We just couldn’t find it in ourselves to come up with solutions and for some reason ONLY knew how to point fingers. Then last year, around our 9th anniversary, Ryan was out of town for training. We were getting a little bit better with communicating prior to him leaving and got so much better at it while he was away. Our outlook on situations and on each other somehow became more positive. Our kind side wanted a rematch and was on its way to the top. We wanted this marriage to work, not just for our kids, but for us.
We are doing it. Every day we are grateful we make it together to the next because not many couples do for one reason or another. Our story is still open for new chapters. We made it to ten! We are still loving and supporting each other and constantly encouraging each other to be and do better. We still can make each other laugh until we are about to pee our pants. But most importantly after 10 years of marriage, he still knows exactly how I like my coffee and that is pure love.